New Showreel and Questions You Shouldn’t Ask in a Job Interview

by wondrousdavid

 

 

To break from tradition I thought I would talk about some moving image work with my new showreel. It’s the first of two and It really needs doing. It’s just above this sentence and I hope you enjoy it. 

 A few months ago I had an interview in London for a PR firm. The interview was all rather nice and as it started to close down they asked the standard “have you any questions for us Mr Bain?” I stroked my beard thoughtfully (as rehearsed) and asked what I thought was  rather neat question that I had been practicing on the tube up “Yes.” I said in what I hoped was a sincere (but not too sincere) and spontaneous way “How did I do?” 

 They looked at me, clearly not as impressed as they really should of been, and said “Fine Mr Bain. Any other questions?” I could feel it slipping away “I mean…” I say “I mean as a package.” The woman behind the tale blinks “You want us to review you as a package?”

 “Yes yes.” I said relieved we where back on my own pre-planned turf “I want you to review my package.”       

 Pause. It has quite hit me what I have said and the pause continues. My shirt is very hot and damp, the interview was at 3pm but I panicked and got into Covent Garden for 11am… then spent two and a half hours looking for the darn place before getting a Tesco meal deal and lunching outside the BFI as I couldn’t remember if theres a park in London (there is. It’s a rather big one). I mused on this in the three seconds or so that the pause continued as I thought about the old Sikh man opposite me on the tube and I hoped he didn’t judge me too harshly for mouthing silently in his direction rehearing. Heck I think It’s London theres probably loads of people mouthing silently on the tube, maybe he normally does it. Maybe he’s now in an office block thinking Gosh. I am glad that I am not the only one talking to myself on the tube out loud. What a beautiful da…

…WAIT. WHAT? Did I just ask this lady in front of me to review my package? “I mean” I blurt out “My CV. My Covering Letter. My…my… website. My Showreel. And me now in front of you. My self. My package. David Bain the brand as it where.”       

The brand. Shit. Did I just call myself a brand?! Not even Russell fucking Brand gets to call himself The Brand, he’s a freaking Mr. This interview is really not going the way I had planned it on the tube, although the woman is looking at me with the same level of interest that the Sikh is, I.e. None at all. Oh stop thinking about that darn Sihk and get back to the interview. 

“You’re fine.” She pulls out my CV and stares at it for a moment “Nice…font.” YES. Thank you Carroll of LinkedIn Message Boards. Cochin motherfucker all the way, “And the showreel of yours was fine too.” I am starting to hear to much fine, I mean fine’s good it’s better than say Not fine but really I would prefer another description of me. “Good” Perhaps “employable” would be better. “I mean” I say trying to steer the conversation away from fine “You are never to sure how in does and one never gets constructive feedback”

 NOTE WOMAN I NEVER SAID CRITICISM THIS IS NOT A TIME TO CRITICISE ME IT IS A TIME TO USE A WORD THAT IS NOT FINE.

“I have had a few interviews”

 SHIT. I SHOULD OF LET IT HANGING. NOW SHE THINKS I AM CONSTANTLY REJECTED. I AM A MAN WHO GIVES HIMSELF UP AND IS REJECTED. I AM A CHEAP REJECTED WHORE

 “And as someone who mostly works freelance you can’t really get self-reflective with you clients.” Smooth. Well done me and what a fantastic definition of the word “Freelance” and “Clients.”

“Oh” She says with a smile “Your DavId Bain.” God God woman I have been sitting here for 90minuets and you have only just realised my name. This is not going well. Or maybe it is. Maybe she has serious memory problems and this is a sign. A good sign. 

“You did the showreel with the fire lanterns” She said beaming “Ohh that was my favourite showreel of this days set. Yes you did great.”*

I was so happy about this compliment that it took me a whole 20minuets of getting lost on the tube to wonder Todays set. I wonder if I was put into the crap one….

So while this is a brand spanking new showreel I have kept in the fire lanterns.**

*I didn’t get the job

*this blog is only slightly like the actual events

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