A few months back I wrote a blog about a failed job interview, as people seemed to like it here is another one. Above is a new After Effects Showreel I have created too, take a look if you have a minuet free.
I knew this interview wasn’t going to go well, firstly I was called Tom straight after I had introduced myself as David. Secondly he didn’t want to see my showreel and thirdly this gentlemen was bald. For those that do not know I am cursed with hair that looks like that of a poor-man’s Dennis the Menace. It is a hair that makes even barbers sigh on the occasional time I walk into their shop. In short it resembles a birds nest, without the utilitarian function. While no birds have nested in it (as far as I am aware), it is very possible for things to make a temporary home- spiders, bees, the odd ex-girlfriend who I assumed had run away who now spends her days eating the spiders and bees.
While I have no problem with baldies per say (Darwin, Bruce Willis and the most majestic of all creatures the naked mole rat), they have a problem with me- or more accurately my hair. This beautiful mop is an affront to their shiny lifestyle, an attack of their follicle-less head. I am a reminder of their youth (a misjudged reminder of course, put a oversized- fetus and a tiny bald person next to each other and you would never work out which one was which).
The interview went like this:
Bald Interviewer: So Tom
Bald Interviewer: Your CV ends mid 2013.
Me: I have been doing a variety of jobs, some have been based in Portugal were I work as a photo manipulator, my online portfolio shows a range of new videos. This CV is personalized for this job and contains only the most relevant information.
Bald Interviewer: Yeh Whatever. Do you play Golf Tom?
Bald Interviewer: hmm?
Shit, this is an unrehearsed question! Code Red. Code Fucking Red. Think fast. Do crazy Golf and Wii Sports count?!
Me: Poorly, but from the companies website I see you do. I do however play tennis.
Bald Interviewer: Tennis is a women’s sport. Everyone plays Golf at my company Tom.
My company?! Does this idiot own the business?
Me: I’m a fast learner sir.
And so the interview went on rather well and then came the closing lines:
Bald Interviewer: Your a likable guy Tom*
Bald Interviewer: But I don’t like you
Me: …So…how long until I find out I am successful?
Damn you hair!
*The general consensus is that this is incorrect. I am in fact a grumpy bastard.